Laser beam pointers and spiders (again!)

Okay so only two major "issues" I wish to discuss today - both rather petty and "random" but what more would you expect from me really??

The first is a result of training session I attended at work today. It was about handing aggressive (verbal and physical) assault in the workplace (patients and their families) and was actually quite informative - that was not the issue. The dude who was running the program was also quite good as a trainer - no issues there. HOWEVER....when using the power point presentation he insisted on using one of those little red beam pointer things. Now...I understand they have their useful purposes...particularly in a huge lecture room where the presenter cannot reach the screen to point, and they are using diagrams etc. This dude though was standing right next to the screen...like if he desperately wanted to point to something he could have used his arm and finger.....AND they were like 2 sentence slides. No graphs/charts etc that are difficult to interpret. So every frikkin line he was pointing word by word as he read them out. ARGH....it was driving me insane. It meant I was no longer paying any attention at all to what he was trying to teach me, I was too busy fantasising about jamming the pointer up his left nostril while the room full of people applauded. Was I brave enough to write it on the feedback form? "The super sonic laser beam pointer SUCKED"? No I didn't. Big wuss right here.

Okay...no secondly I had another spider incident last night. I know, you'd swear I live in the jungle or something the amount of wildlife I encounter on a regular basis. I need to hire a full time ranger to hang out in my lounge room. ANYWAYS....so I wake up from night shift sleep at 2pm and stumble into the bathroom and see this huntsman (not massive, but reasonably big) on the wall above the shower...I cringe and get the sweats and slowly back from the room (like he is suddenly going to pounce on me if I move too quickly). I go get the kids from school and semi-forget about it till that night. I walk back into the en suite that night and there it is...it's hardly moved...just waiting for me to have a shower. HMMMF. So...I go get the insect spray and stand nervously in the bathroom for about 5 minutes, hopping from foot to foot working out my plan of attack and chickening out at the last second every time I went to do it. I finally get up the courage and spray like mad (from about a metre away of course), drenching the hairy thing in half a can of spray...it falls onto the shower floor convulsing and shrivelling up into a ball and stuff and I watch it intently (standing on the edge of the spa bath of course) to be sure he can't escape. I decide to drown him just for good measure and run out to grab a cup and fill it with water but by the time I return it is obvious that won't be needed. I watch for a few more minutes, decide I can't possibly have a shower given the circumstance (not brave enough for body removal at this point) and go to bed.

Next afternoon, almost 24 hours post-mortem I decide it is safe to dispose of it's carcass. I can't do the tissue thing to pick it up...way too scary. So I grab the vacuum cleaner and suck it up, goosebumps all over me as I do. I get on with my afternoon then have a shower a few hours later. I find myself standing there feeling rather anxious. My eyes flicker around the room and every little noise or movement makes me jump. I'm convinced that the much larger and hairier sibling of my victim is watching me and waiting to avenge it's brothers death and attack me. Seriously. You think I'm making this up to be amusing I'm sure. But I'm not. So...I survived the shower without anything happening much to my surprise. But now I'm convinced it is just trying to lure me into a false sense of security before, a few nights down the track when I finally walk into the bathroom without scanning every corner and wall - it will pounce and take great delight in my tears and screams. *sigh*

Anyways....as you can see it's been a rather stressful day, and I have motherly things to do before I can crawl into bed. Oh yeah...and that writing thing I keep saying I'll do *blush*....so goodnight!

Old people at the gym

I'd like to tell you my absence is a result of my immersion in the book and writing and all that, but sadly, no it isn't. I intend to get cracking on my writing this week, no more excuses I think I need to allocate a certain amount of time everyday like I do with the gym and just DO IT. I'm wishing I hadn't told people about it to be honest because I'm not sure it's good enough for other people to read and enjoy and now when I sit down to write instead of it just being for fun I'm thinking "would Wendy like this bit?" or "ohhhh Mum might not like that" ha ha. So I think I have to convince myself no one is going to read it and just have fun. I can edit out the explicit swearing and massive raunchy sex scenes before Mum reads it anyway (joking Mum JOKING). Anyways...speaking of the gym...

I have a bit of a vent I'm afraid. Look don't get me wrong I'm all for old folk (sorry again Mum, you probably shouldn't read this entry at all you may not talk to me again) keeping fit and all that jazz. In fact I'm hopeful that I'll still be going to the gym when I'm 60 or whatever, but....they really really annoy me most of the time. The way they walk on the treadmill at 3km an hour on THE BEST treadmill (situated in optimal position for best air conditioner and fan utilisation) chatting to their buddy next to them about who knows what (weather most likely ha ha). THEN they get on the frikkin weight circuit that CLEARLY states the rules of etiquette behind it. No more than 5 mins per machine blah blah blah. Argh they sit on the machine, their little friend follows them over and they TALK AND TALK AND TALK. Every few minutes they do ONE rep with the weights and then they sit there and keep talking. The hilarious thing is they talk about how "You know, I spend like 2 hours here some mornings and all I have lost so far is 2kgs. It must be because I'm gaining muscle....." For like 20 minutes they stay on that same machine while I'm finishing the whole circuit.

I break the rules and skip that machine and go around them and come back and they are still sitting there blabbing away. ARgh. Of course, all I do is huff and puff and make it really obvious I am waiting when what I actually want to do is yell at them "The reason you have only lost 2kgs is because the only calories you burn in the 2 hours you are here is used GOSSIPING to your friends. Bugger off to a coffee shop somewhere instead. I have a LIFE and a job to get to and just want to use that frikkin machine for 3 minutes and then go home!". Maybe after a night shift sometime I'll reach breaking point and you'll see me on the news for attacking an older woman at the gym with a barbell. I wonder if there is a name for it like Road Rage? Man I just wasted five minues of my life sitting here trying to think of some witty kind of spin off on road rage. I got nothing.

Oh my other gripe is PASSWORDS. Why isn't there a universal "rule" for passwords. Like how many characters and numbers and blah blah blah. I spend ridiculous amounts of time (spent swearing and stabbing the keys in frustration on the keyboard) trying to remember which frikkin password I decided to use on some random account that I haven't used for 2 months. Sometimes if I can...I'll give up (which I HATE doing, I feel I am admitting some sort of cowardly defeat that a little man in an office somewhere witnesses when he gets my "I forgot my password" notification and he chuckles smugly to himself and thinks "another one!") and hit the "forgot my password" option and I get the email sent to me and I look at it and go "WHAT THE HELL???? What was I smoking that day?? Why on earth would I use that as a password?" And I know they say you shouldn't use kids names and birth dates and all that jazz...but what other option is there if you actually want to remember it?? I get desperate and look around the room I'm in so I end up with stupid passwords like "candl3" - see, it seems clever at the time because instead of an "e" I used a "3"...tricky right?? Yeah, try recalling that 8 weeks later when your sitting in a different room with no frigging candles on display going "now what would it be??"

Anyways...vent over, must get out of my sweaty gym clothes and do some exciting motherly things like hang out washing and get groceries and then maybe I can sneak in a bit of writing before I pick the kidlets up from school.

Oh - and in case you were wondering I did survive Valentines Day without stabbing any random kissing strangers with a bic pen from my bag. I didn't dissolve into sobs at the check out of the shops when seeing some dude buying flowers. So kudos to me hey? Kids and I hung out at the lagoon for the afternoon then had a candle lit dinner of homemade burgers with softdrink in wine glasses LOL. Will put a photo up soon....