Night duty kills brain cells...

I reckon if they conducted some sort of study they would conclude that by the end of a night shift a person has lost 50% of their brain capacity and functioning. I will contribute some of my own personal experiences as examples of this:

*Just the other day, I get home from night shift and decide to read my book for a while to wind down. After reading a chapter I put the book on the bathroom sink while I have a shower. I get into my PJ’s and climb into bed, grabbing my book off the bedside table to read some more before I go to sleep. I can’t find where I thought I’d marked the page which is a bit odd, but I am used to thinking I have done things and finding I haven’t (not necessarily a post-night-duty thing either) so I find roughly where I think I’m up to and start reading. I read a page, most perplexed because the story just isn’t flowing for me although it does sound somewhat familiar…odd. So I turn back another chapter thinking I’ve just skipped forward too far. I read 3 or 4 pages very confused but persisting thinking it’s just because I am so tired. It finally clicks when I glance up the top of a page and see the book title. Wrong book. I am reading one I read a few weeks ago. Yes I did laugh openly at myself – anyone observing the whole scenario would have thought me a complete lunatic.

*It’s always a school day when I’m sleeping after night shift and I set my alarm for 2pm so I can get up and get changed and have something to eat before I pick the kids up from school. Twice I have slept through my alarm and awoken just after 3pm in a mad panic realizing I am already late to pick them up. One particular day I woke up in total confusion….I panicked…I’ve missed the alarm. Where am I? What day is it? What time was I supposed to wake up? Where am I late for? I jump out of bed and run into the bathroom frantically pulling my jeans on from off the floor before searching for a bra and shirt. Where are my shoes?? My hair is everywhere and my eyes are wild and I’m stressing big time. Then I stop. What the hell am I doing? I look at the time…and realize it is 11am. I’ve only slept for an hour and a half, and I still have several hours before I need to be up. I pull my jeans off and climb back into bed feeling like an idiot. Again…witnesses would have been highly amused.

*One morning I decided to be super duper organized and sit some meat out of the freezer to defrost for dinner that night whilst I slept after night shift. I remember climbing into bed that morning thinking how awesome I was. I’d finished my shift, picked up the kids and taken them to school before I came home as I always did. How amazing am I? I thought to myself - juggling working shift work and still getting the kids to school, and organizing dinner and all that. SuperMum, that’s me. When I woke up from my sleep and came out to grab something to eat before I picked the kids up I looked at the kitchen sink. What the hell? Who sat the icecream out of the freezer??? Er….okay, we are having melted milky off smelling icecream for dinner tonight huh?

And the effects of night shift can actually linger for up to 48 hours afterwards. And you may find yourself doing something absolutely ridiculous like posting a letter to your Nana that was actually highly personal and not at all for your Nana. And not realize until later when you find the ACTUAL letter that was intended for your Nana still sitting in the printer when it is too late and the confidential and private letter is sitting in a post office somewhere waiting to be sent to the wrong recipient. Well done.

Oh and then there was the first time I tried wearing a sleeping mask as advised by my fellow shift workers to "improve" my sleep post night shift. I felt like I was in a movie as I put it on and laid in bed...how glamorous! I woke up an hour later in a frenzy...I can't see!! I can't see!!! Wait - what the hell is on my face!!!??? And by the time I ripped it off my eyes I was in quite a fluster and had a hard time getting back to sleep.

Those are just a FEW examples of the after effects of night shifts. Seriously, it’s crazy the stuff I do. I’m usually hitting about 27 hours without sleep by the time I get to bed, and the longer it goes on the more bizarre my behaviour gets. I should make a badge or something to wear so that the people at the kids school, at the petrol station , the gym, or the supermarket - wherever I venture after night shift - are aware that I am functioning with only half my usual brain cells intact.

First day of year 1 and year 5...

No tears today!! Most impressive :D All three of us managed to keep it together! A lot of Bailey's friends weren't coming back this year, so I expected that to make today hard for him, but he was great! Emma was super brave! She was very worried, clung to me a bit when we got there, but then gave me a tight little smile and wave as she filed off to class with her new teacher!

My house feels so very very quiet and empty again! Have loads to do - washing, folding, ironing, exciting stuff like that. Was going to do some yoga but not so sure now lol, also crucial - must wash blowdry and straighten hair. Considered a nap since I am on night shift tonight, but I never do that so why start now? Oh, and really ought to do some writing, I have been SO very slack with it all. Told myself once school goes back though I'd put a better effort it, so no more excuses huh.

On that note...I'll go be productive I think.

Night out....

Catching people out...

You know those moments you have when you do something and desperately hope nobody saw it? Like when a piece of food falls out of your mouth when you are eating, you half trip on something, or realise your undies are hanging out the back of your pants or something? I love catching people in those moments and giving them a knowing smile. If I know them, I'll tell them, just so there is no doubt in their minds "I SO saw that!". But if it's a stranger or someone I don't know all that well, I'll be a little more discreet about it.

Like at the grocery shops the other day, in the personal hygiene section or whatever its called, some chick grabs a bottle of lubricant off the shelf and then very carefully arranges in her trolley so it's covered up by the bread and cereal and stuff. I smiled as I walked past her and she looked at me with a panicked "did she see that?" look on her face. YES I TOTALLY SAW IT! I wanted to yell. But the smile was enough....she knew. ha.

Or when a dude quite some time ago was standing nearby and realised his fly was undone. That was awesome. Just turned the side of my mouth up a little when he looked up all flustered so he knew it hadn't gone unnoticed. Yes I saw your red undies mate, you didn't get away with it.

So, just so I don't sound like a total cow, I'll share one (I'd be here for days if I shared them all) of my own personal moments of humiliation...

My bestie was over my place for a visit with her kids. Emma was only a few weeks old and was due for a feed very soon, but was sleeping and I was waiting for her to wake. We decided to get some lunch and I volunteered to duck out and grab it for us from red rooster while she stayed and watched the kids.

I'm standing in the line at red rooster when I feel that dreaded tingling/burning feeling when you are about to have a let down of milk and I realise in sudden horror that because I'd just been hanging at home, I did not have "breast pads" on. I stand there waiting for them to cook our lunch, facing this young dude about 20 years old or so when it happens. I look down to see two round wet rings of milk form on the front of my thin white cheesecloth type shirt. Trying to minimise the damage, I pull the shirt out from me and then......the milk starts dripping....DRIPPING onto the tiled floor below me, two constant drips coming out from under my shirt and this dude just stares with his mouth half open obviously thinking "what the hell is happening to that woman??". It was awful....AWFUL. The chick tells me my lunch is ready and I yank it quickly out of her grasp and make a very very fast exit, my face burning red the whole drive home. I never again forgot to wear breast pads I can tell you!

I'm a bit strange though....I often have those embarrassing little moments and look up to realise no-one saw and it is almost disappointing to me. If someone is there with me, I'm like "I so just spat half my drink out by accident, you missed it!" Cause the moment itself isn't overly humorous it's when someone has witnessed it that it becomes funny and embarrassing.

****

Hmm anyways, so I've been absent for a bit, I've ignored my writing of all sorts completely for a week, just couldn't do it for some reason. I opened up the most recent chapter of my book several times and just stared at the blinking cursor feeling totally uninspired about doing it. Not writer's block, the ideas are there, I know what I want to write, I just didn't feel like doing it. Probably because what I am writing at the moment is a positive happy story and I felt a bit miserable this week and just wanted to absorb myself in self pity for a bit. Better effort will be had this week.

Just one...

Just going to have one little chocolate from that box in the fridge. Or maybe two. But definitely no more than that.

Thankyou stranger at the gym on the treadmill

This is just a little shout out to the dude who was running on the treadmill next to me at the gym this morning. I was very very motivated today and after my night shift I stopped at the gym on the way home for a quick run on the treadmill. I told myself I'd TRY to run 5kms without falling asleep but wasn't sure I could do it. I almost gave up at 3km then some random fella got on the treadmill next to me all fit and stuff and ran beside me looking all athletic. I got to 4km and wanted to stop but this annoying dude next to me who was strutting his stufff made me keep going. Buggered if I was going to stop before him! Meanwhile he started a good 20 minutes after I did but I refused to stop until he had. So I ended up running 7km. Impressive after a night duty I reckon. I hope he didn't notice me glaring at him competitively out of the corner of my eye. Or my smug expression when he finally stopped and I was still stumbling along in a sleepy daze, thinking I was all that cause I "beat him". I almost threw my hands up in the air as though a marathon runner breaking the ribbon at the end of the race, people cheering for me everywhere. I almost grabbed my water bottle and poured it over my head too. It would have looked cool, I know it would have. Although I suppose there would be the risk of electrocution being on the treadmill and all. Still....

So I haven't managed to stick with my chapter a day goal....that was a very unrealistic goal to set myself I realise this now, I did my best, I wrote at least 2 hours each day I think....and still have three more days left so you never know I may get there by Sunday. I have a few hours spare now (thanks to my wonderful Dad who is babysitting and said not to rush over after my sleep and to enjoy some "me time" :) :) :) ) So I am going to go hard and get another chapter or two done. I started reading a Jodie Piccult book for the first time yesterday (I know strange but I still try to squeeze in reading books between trying to write my own - I don't watch TV so I need some kind of down time) and now I am feeling hugely intimidated. I can't write clever stuff like that. Hmmmf. No fair. AND I would just like to point out that her books (well the one I am reading anyways) is WRITTEN IN PRESENT TENSE. I knew it wasn't so ridiculous of me to have done that. Too late to change it all back now but anyways.

Well....on that note I am going to go and stuff my face silly since I have not eaten since 11pm last night. Must ignore large box of chocolates in fridge - defeats the whole purpose of having raced random stranger at the gym this morning - MUST NOT EAT JUNK.

Oh - I should mention too, I am going out tomorrow night with my girly friends...out out! Haven't done this in a very very long time and I am really looking forward to it :D We have even booked an apartment to stay at in there since I hate when you reach that point at 2am or whatever where you suddenly change from having an awesome time to "I want to be at home in bed right this very minute" and then you have to endure an hour or so of lining up for a taxi, watching people spew in the gutter *shudder* and then the painful (and expensive) taxi drive home with the scary indian dude who ignores red lights like they are just a recommendation or something and you sit there reminding yourself that you really HAVE to organise getting your Will done. So for only $50 each we can just stumble back to our beds and avoid all that rubbish. AND I suspect we may just realise we are way too old and wrinkly and prudish to be clubbing anymore and we can just go back for some quiet drinks at the apartment instead.

So...have a good weekend all!!

Travel tips for Melbourne....

Apoligies to those who read this back in my facebook days....Kim requested a copy paste, so just ignore if you've read it :P

• It is illegal to take photos on the tarmac at an airport – apparently it can “cause an explosion!”, and if you are oblivious to this rule and find yourself standing with a big grin on your face while your friend takes your photo yelling “wave your arms around!”, a crew person from the flight you are on will come racing over yelling frantically to advise you of your criminal behavior.
• You cannot walk from Queensberry Street all the way to Collins Street with two very large bags on wheels. Don’t think that when people laugh at you when you suggest doing this that they don’t know what they are talking about – it really is IMPOSSIBLE.
• Don’t be alarmed when you see a seagull whooshing past you at 2am in the morning in the middle of the city…this is “normal” in Melbourne.
• If you happen to stay in an apartment that has not provided a full length mirror, this can be frustrating and problematic. However, there are a few solutions to this problem. 1) Try standing on the toilet and then leaping across the bathroom while keeping a firm eye on the mirror, you MAY catch a small glimpse of your ensemble although it is highly likely you will need to try this several times before having any sort of success (please note: socks/stockings make this maneuver dangerous). 2) At night time you can use the windows to get a look at yourself 3) Utilize the hotel lift mirrors. This can be embarrassing if not timed accurately and the doors open mid “pose”. Also becomes a bit of an effort when you are displeased with what you see and need a change of clothes. 4) This is probably the best option – take a photo of your outfit either using the timer or getting your friend’s help.
• If you are prone to the occasional “blonde moment”, it is wise to take a friend who experiences similar episodes so that you don’t feel like the only ditzy person.*Blinds can be complicated – don’t spend 5 minutes pulling the cord in one direction, cursing and carrying on about the “stupid ridiculous blinds that won’t open” only to have your friend walk in and pull the cord in the opposite direction opening the blinds up without a problem – you WILL feel silly. However, you will feel better about it when said friend looks at your blinds and says she is “ripped off” because she only has one thin blind on her window and you have one thin one and one heavy one only to discover she has the same setup and she could have slept in that morning had she known.
• Most glass sliding doors that serve as an entry/exit point to a building have a large green button to the side of them that says “PUSH TO OPEN DOOR” – two people jumping up and down waving their arms around will NOT open the door. And whilst doing this can be understandable the first time you come across such a door, it probably isn’t as acceptable to do it EVERY SINGLE TIME before remembering. People will snicker.
• The best way to spot famous people is to wander aimlessly around alleyways at night with your bread, butter and jam in a 7/11 bag. Don’t mock your friend when she exclaims “LOOK THAT’S PATTI NEWTON IN THAT CAR, I bet she is waiting to pick Bert up” then sit in the gutter for 25 minutes to prove that she is wrong. You’ll feel like an idiot when Bert Newton walks out and gets into Patti’s car. And she will remind you of it on a regular basis.
• Some people who work at 7/11 can be difficult to understand. When you’ve asked them about getting a tram ticket you may find yourself trying to catch what they are saying about “zones”. When they finish you may find yourself saying “so….can we get a ticket?” and this will be followed with more incoherent ramblings about “zones” and you’ll say “so…we CAN’T get a ticket?” and you will end up walking out wondering what on earth just happened and why you didn’t get a ticket.
• Have your friend purchase a pair of boots for the trip. Not just any boots – but boots with some sort of visible fur on the outside. You will be amazed at the entertainment this brings you. At any random moment you will find yourself bursting into song and dance about the “Boots with the fur, the whole club was lookin at her…she hit the floor, next thing you know, shorty got low low low low…”. If this gets old, you can also sing the song about your jacket with the fur…simply adjust the lyrics slightly like so: “HOOD with the fur…the whole club….”. Seriously – it never fails to amuse. Also…a lot of people in Melbourne wear boots with fur…so you will find many many moments to enjoy this simple pleasure.
• Don’t take a night-time cold and flu tablet when on holidays…you will wake up at lunch time and be sad you missed out on half a day of fun.
• If you see someone very late in the evening giving directions to people near a tram station - be careful. You may find yourself demanding more detailed information and trying to pry his little map out of his kung fu grip only to be informed by your friend as you walk away that he had a sign saying he was homeless and would give directions for money. You’ll feel like an idiot – hopefully your friend was clever enough to give them some money on your ignorant behalf.
• Ensure you gather all your belongings when getting off the tram in the wee hours of the morning. You will be sad if you leave your scarf on there. You’ll be even sadder if after realizing and suggesting a “one minute silence” to your friend, she casually points out a nearby woman tying on a very similar scarf to yours.
• Wearing tights under your jeans does provide some very comforting warmth when out and about at night however, once inside the well heated restaurants/pubs/shops you can find yourself in a sort of panic attack about “having to get out of these freakin’ tights RIGHT NOW”.
• Cyclists in Melbourne city seem to be somewhat....aggressive. Be careful not to make eye contact or linger too close to the edge of a road if they are scooting by. You will be greeted with a holler of some description and sadly they are gone too fast for you to shout obscenities back in your defense.
• When attending a concert with a standing room ticket, you may need to take anger management classes beforehand to prepare yourself for people with abnormally fat necks standing in front of you, OR couples spending every moment of the concert passionately smooching each other and blocking your view.
• Whilst KFC does in normal circumstances, induce vomiting and child-birth type pains; at 12am in the morning after 12 hours of not eating and lining up at concerts etc, it WILL taste like the best food you have ever eaten in your life.
• Trams have little maps in them of the various tram lines and their stations. Try not to wet yourself laughing if your friend asks “where is the “YOU ARE HERE” dot?”.
• Watch your toes when standing on a tram – people with huge MASSIVE heavy suitcases can seriously hurt you. The likelihood of it happening to both yourself and your friend during a mere 3 day visit is very very high. (Also…boots with fur provide little protection).
• Be careful when packing a spacer (for use with ventolin) in your bag…people may mistake it for a Swedish penis enlarger.
  

Gym time!

So since the school holidays began I have been rather slack with the whole gym thing I have to confess. I usually go 3-4 times a week, but given recent personal dramas and the juggling of work with kids at home, I basically have not been for about 6 weeks. Whoops. Strangely I have lost weight, but I am certain it is muscle since I definitely feel pudgier than before. But I bit the bullet today and called up to book in for childminding tomorrow (well today) and Thursday morning so no more excuses. I know I'll flog myself first visit back and then the next attempt will be hampered due to my stiff and sore muscles, but that's how I do it, always. Funny thing is, I am always tempted after a break from the gym, to go hard with the exercise DVDs and stuff at home before returning because I feel people are staring at me going "well you can tell SHE hasn't been here for a while", eyeing off my rolls and lumps and bumps. Of course, no one ever does because they are too concerned with their own pudgy bits to notice anything else.

Now I've decided my writing goal for this week is to do one chapter a day till Sunday. I've gotten slack in the last week given all the dramas so I have some catching up to do.

Now - this is rather exciting. I am sitting here at only just after midnight and my eyes are getting so heavy I'm having trouble holding them open and my sentences aren't forming together properly I imagine. So....I believe this may very well be the earliest night I have had in something like 6 weeks! I may start to feel human tomorrow? Best not let myself get carried away, will wait and see what happens when the lights are all out and the mind has time to...think.

Night all. Will pop on tomorrow to share the misery of returning to the gym and suffering from screaming calf muscles and the like. You can hardly wait I know.

*sigh*

I am thinking of investing in having a small sound-proof room installed so that at moments like this, I can walk into it, close the door, and scream and sob at the top of my lungs until I feel some sort of relief. I can't even resort to the heavy consumption of alcohol because I have two very special little people who need me to stay functioning 24/7. I suppose that is a good thing otherwise I would probably just give up, but man, what I wouldn't give to have just one selfish night of self pity and self destructive behaviour.

Sleep deprivation

This is getting beyond a joke. I simply cannot sleep anymore. Well that's not entirely true, of course I am getting SOME sleep - but very very little of it. I'm trying to figure it out and I think last night I finally pin pointed it. See everyone has been encouraging me to try this or that - a warm bath, a cup of tea blah blah blah. I KNOW these things help - I've used them before after night shifts and stuff. So why wasn't I trying them? I wasn't entirely sure. I thought the reason for my lack of sleep was stress - I have too much stuff on my mind. Specifically - how I will juggle work etc once the kids are back at school, I need to drop my hours. And moving houses, I want to do it now, get it over and done with - but financially breaking the lease is not a viable option. So I figured this is why I wasn't sleeping - too much to think about when I'm lying in bed. And I think this IS a contributing factor but I realised the main issue last night.

See it's not just that I can't sleep once I'm lying in bed - I delay getting into bed. I fluff around, watch crappy movies, do a bit more writing, check my freakin' email at 2am in the morning in case someone has mysteriously emailed me at that hour for who knows what. And when I finally climbed into bed at 2am this morning, eyes hanging out of my head, it hit me why I was avoiding bed and not sleeping. The moment the distractions of TV/writing/internet etc are gone, and the lights are out and it's all quiet and I'm lying there in bed. I realise how very very ALONE I am. After 11 years of having someone by my side every (well mostly) night and feeling somewhat (falsely) secure about my future...it is the most overwhelming and daunting feeling to lie in bed alone every night having no clue about what my future holds for me.

See I am very fortunate...I have great friends and family - so supportive, and so during the days I feel okay - I have the kids of course and with everyone else I rarely feel alone during the day. It's at night after the kids have gone to bed that it all becomes hard. It churns my stomach to think this is my life now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not this insecure person who can't cope being on my own at night, I've never been like that - I quite enjoy having time alone occasionally. But every night is another thing. Every night for the rest of my life is too much to think about.

So after a huge cry last night when this realisation hit me in bed, I waited.....and waited...for sleep to take me away. It took too long....and despite feeling like a walking zombie right now, I am already dreading climbing into bed again tonight. At least I should be tired after working till 9.30pm and driving out to dayboro afterwards, but I'm certain I will still battle to fall asleep.

*sigh* Next post will be cheerier I promise.

For my beautiful Nana....

Smile through your tears…

A special man has left the earth, but his memory will remain
And I know we can find good through the depths of our shared pain
For although he has now gone, his strength and loyalty have not
Imprinted in ourselves, those qualities can never be forgot

His footprints will remain embossed upon your heart
With unwavering love even though you’re now apart
Taste the tears as they fall, for they are filled with such love
For the man who was yours, now in the hands of God above

Let the emptiness remind you of the companionship you shared
Don’t let yourself forget the devoted way he loved and cared
Treasure every little memory, all the laughter and the tears
The good times and the bad that you shared throughout the years

Along your journey there were stumbles, hard times that shook your steady feet
But united you remained - Supporting each other through the obstacles you’d meet
Your shared story may have ended, but your special bond will never break
And your life enduring love is something death could never take

In your heartache and your grief, as you try to say goodbye
May Gods comfort hold you strong, as he counts the tears you cry
When the pain is overwhelming, when it all becomes too tough
I pray you’ll feel our love surround you, and that will be enough

Please take our hand as we reach out; let us carry you when you are weak
Borrow strength from us, as we wipe the tears from off your cheek
Turn to those of us around you, as before we’ve turned to you
Let us guide you through your hurt in return for all you do

Let the loss of one we love, only bring us closer together
In our loving family find protection against the stormy weather
And on a day that’s filled with tears, may we also share a smile
To know how blessed we are to have known him for a while

Saving the world one calendar at a time & surviving a horror film

So I also purchased, amongst other things today at the shops, my 2010 calendar. I grabbed some random calendar I saw on special with photos from around the world or something super fascinating like that. Anyways, I get it home to notice a big sticker on it saying "ECO-FRIENDLY - Made with all recycled materials". Well, my chest puffs out and I think to myself what a wonderful person I am for being so environmentally friendly - almost a "greenie" I reckon. I rip the plastic off, absolutely delighted with myself and stick it onto my 600litre industrial sized fridge, and then go and throw the next load of washing into the dryer. It's all about setting an example isn't it? Everyone will walk into my home and see my eco-friendly calendar and it will motivate them to be as environmentally conscience as I am.

ANYWAYS...so last night my bestie came over for a sleepover with her kidlets. This girl is CRAZY about horror movies...she loves them. Me, on the other hand, not so great with them. I find myself hyperventilating, clutching at my heart that feels like it's about to explode out of my chest, and screaming at the stupid idiot on the screen; something along the lines of "DON'T GO IN THERE YOU IDIOT!!!" or "NOOOOOOOO HE HAS A GUN!!". I also do the whole blocking my ears and closing my eyes thing - very 4 year old of me really, but I seriously can't help it. So.....my darling bestie decides she really wants to see "Paranormal activity" and I decided to be brave and watch it with her - on the proviso that she sleep in my room with me that night of course.

So the movie goes on, and it's fairly slow and quite boring except for when this couple sets up the camera at night and you see the time fast forwarding while they sleep - nothing happens, then the clock slows down to normal speed and something freaky happens. Eventually every time the frigging clock slowed down I got myself worked up into a frenzy going "'what now????". I am pleased to say I survived it with very little screaming at the two idiot characters (who chose to stay in a house 24/7 despite there being some sort of soul sucking demon in there, as you do), and I only closed my eyes once at the very very end. I think it shows how much I have matured over the years yes? And the fact that I have Emma sleeping in my room with me tonight is simply because I needed to do it as bribery since Bailey has a friend sleeping over tonight - it has nothing to do with me needing someone to clutch onto in the middle of the night when I think the invisible demon is going to grab me by the legs and pull me from the room.

Now I should mention also that my lovely little Emma learnt a valuable lesson today, so she has inspired my "tip for the day": Never play with chilli (ie. pull it apart with your fingers and play with the seeds) and then rub your fingers in your eyes. If you do you will spend the next hour or so crying and having to hold a dripping wet washer across your eyes.

New bling!!!!

Spur of the moment purchase today, I spoiled myself and bought a diamond ring :D I love love love it. My hand has been feeling empty and it was very weird so maybe this will help?

Price check on aisle 9....

Is it just me or are there others out there that felt an abnormal rush of excitment when the first "self service" checkouts were introduced at woolworths and coles?? I cannot tell you how much I ADORE using these things. I get such delight from hearing the little beep everytime I swipe an item, and hurling them as quickly as I can into the bags. I've always had a burning desire to spend a day in the life of a check out chick. I've always thought what a cool job it would be (well to trial anyway, I imagine anymore than once every 6 months you'd find the experience somewhat mundane and lacking challenge), and sometimes had urges to lean over and grab the microphone and mumble "price check on aisle 9" or something exciting like that.

So is this just me? Are you all going to point and yell "freak" at me, or does someone else share my passion for pretending to be a checkout chick whenever you do your groceries??

Guinea pig & novel update, and false advertising...

(You can see why I titled this blog "random drivel" huh?)

So I'm driving along today and I see this old piece of cardboard stuck to a telegraph pole at a set of lights. Someone has scrawled on it, in Niko pen "Live your dream life! Earn a 6 figure salary from home. Ph XXXXXX" and I think to myself - I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! If you earn such great money doing whatever it is you supposedly do from home, how come you can't afford a decent sign to advertise??

Now for the guinea pig update. The kids bought them this new little tent thing to sit in inside their cage. It's really quite cute I have to say but it has caused quite a problem. They never come out. They jam themselves so far inside the tent, it occasionally tips backwards and in order to extricate them out for cuddles with the kids, you have to grab and pull with all your might, anchoring the tent in the other hand while they dig their claws into the carpet on the bottom with their little kung foo grip. I put their food outside their tent to lure them out, but they refuse to go near it until you are out of sight and then they drag the food back into the tent to eat. SO..I made the executive decision to confiscate the tent from them for the time being. I purchased a different model that is just like a big igloo with no flooring, so I can easily lift it off them and TA DA! They will be vulnerable once again and unable to avoid my darling childrens displays of over affection.

I achieved my goal for the weekend with the novel I am very pleased to tell you. I am half way through chapter 11, have written roughly 30,000 words which makes me *about* a quarter of the way through the rough draft! Pretty impressive effort for two weeks work, even if I do say so myself. I am not by any means suggesting it's a great or even readable novel, but regardless, I have made good progress :P

Much to do before bed (including more writing) and am up at the crack of dawn for work so on that note I am off :) Night!

Confessions...

Okay, my guilty conscience is eating me up over several indiscretions that have taken place over the last few days. This being my latest outlet and all, you get to hear all about it...

1. So, last night the whole deleting my facebook account thing and not knowing what was going on with everybody on it got just a *little* bit too much. It started to really irritate me when someone (thanks Jo) mentioned something about one of our mutual acquaintances status updates. I came home rather frustrated that this whole world of insignificant events was taking place and I had no access to it. So....I did the dodgy and signed in using David's log in details. I felt evil as I searched for my friends and checked up on them. It was like being a spy I tell you. Somehow I was sure that someone would realise what I'd done. So after less than 2 minutes I quickly logged out and pretended to myself it had never happened. Interestingly, it appeared that I had not missed much at all.
2. My kids were driving me a little batty the other day. Lots of "muuuummm Bailey looked at me funny" etc etc. I had enough of trying to ignore it while on the couch in the lounge with them when a scathingly brilliant idea fell upon me. "I'm going to the toilet" I announced loudly - both children turning to look at me as though I'd lost my sanity. Why is she telling us this so dramatically? I could see them thinking. I rummaged around to find three old magazines and sat on the closed toilet seat for almost 20 minutes with the door closed reading magazines, their whinging and whining a mere faint mumor in the background. It was not a complete success, I have to admit, there were a few moments in that 20 minutes where one of them would march up to the door and say "Muuuum...I'm hungry" or "can we watch a movie?". I finally gave up when Bailey came to the door and said "Mum are you STILL in there?". I suddenly had images of him announcing to family at the dinner table that his mother spends hours on the toilet, and didn't want everyone to worry that I had irritable bowel syndrome or anything. Still -I did enjoy that hot, sweaty and uncomfortable but QUIETER 20 minutes and I may just utilise this scheme sometime in the future again.
3. Okay this one is the most mortifying confession. Please bear in mind that I am currently suffering from some mild form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and that recent life events have led me to do uncharacteristic things - the following being included in that category. Okay so to preface, I have never been a fan of the actor Robert Pattinson. In fact when Twilight first came out and everyone was raving about him I remember distinctly thinking "ew, what are they on about?" I saw him as this scruffy, unkempt looking gangly dude who looked like he needed a good long shower and a haircut. I saw the movie and was still unimpressed. In fact, the powder on his face and the red lipstick almost made it worse. But then....I read the books and took a bit of a shining to this Edward character. So after reading all four books, I once again watched twilight and new moon and suddenly I found myself lusting after good old scruffy Rob. Which brings me to my awful confession. Last night, when once again I was unable to sleep and my brain would no longer form good enough sentences to continue with writing, I found myself on the net. After perusing my usual handful of sites I was bored. I went to youtube and watched a few silly videos that were featured on the main page and then stumbled across a Rob Pattinson interview. So the dude is British I discover, and has this rather funky accent. Oh and it turns out he's kinda funny. So I sit there, for a freakin' hour watching random interviews with Rob Pattinson in them like some obsessed teenage fan. I went to bed feeling rather humiliated by the experience I have to say. I erased the history on my computer, else someone find the evidence and mock me. And here I am now - sharing my most shameful (well recently anyway) moment with the public. And I SWEAR I am now signing off to go to bed with my lap top and do some writing. I will NOT be going to youtube. Not today anyway. Most likely.