You know those moments you have when you do something and desperately hope nobody saw it? Like when a piece of food falls out of your mouth when you are eating, you half trip on something, or realise your undies are hanging out the back of your pants or something? I love catching people in those moments and giving them a knowing smile. If I know them, I'll tell them, just so there is no doubt in their minds "I SO saw that!". But if it's a stranger or someone I don't know all that well, I'll be a little more discreet about it.
Like at the grocery shops the other day, in the personal hygiene section or whatever its called, some chick grabs a bottle of lubricant off the shelf and then very carefully arranges in her trolley so it's covered up by the bread and cereal and stuff. I smiled as I walked past her and she looked at me with a panicked "did she see that?" look on her face. YES I TOTALLY SAW IT! I wanted to yell. But the smile was enough....she knew. ha.
Or when a dude quite some time ago was standing nearby and realised his fly was undone. That was awesome. Just turned the side of my mouth up a little when he looked up all flustered so he knew it hadn't gone unnoticed. Yes I saw your red undies mate, you didn't get away with it.
So, just so I don't sound like a total cow, I'll share one (I'd be here for days if I shared them all) of my own personal moments of humiliation...
My bestie was over my place for a visit with her kids. Emma was only a few weeks old and was due for a feed very soon, but was sleeping and I was waiting for her to wake. We decided to get some lunch and I volunteered to duck out and grab it for us from red rooster while she stayed and watched the kids.
I'm standing in the line at red rooster when I feel that dreaded tingling/burning feeling when you are about to have a let down of milk and I realise in sudden horror that because I'd just been hanging at home, I did not have "breast pads" on. I stand there waiting for them to cook our lunch, facing this young dude about 20 years old or so when it happens. I look down to see two round wet rings of milk form on the front of my thin white cheesecloth type shirt. Trying to minimise the damage, I pull the shirt out from me and then......the milk starts dripping....DRIPPING onto the tiled floor below me, two constant drips coming out from under my shirt and this dude just stares with his mouth half open obviously thinking "what the hell is happening to that woman??". It was awful....AWFUL. The chick tells me my lunch is ready and I yank it quickly out of her grasp and make a very very fast exit, my face burning red the whole drive home. I never again forgot to wear breast pads I can tell you!
I'm a bit strange though....I often have those embarrassing little moments and look up to realise no-one saw and it is almost disappointing to me. If someone is there with me, I'm like "I so just spat half my drink out by accident, you missed it!" Cause the moment itself isn't overly humorous it's when someone has witnessed it that it becomes funny and embarrassing.
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Hmm anyways, so I've been absent for a bit, I've ignored my writing of all sorts completely for a week, just couldn't do it for some reason. I opened up the most recent chapter of my book several times and just stared at the blinking cursor feeling totally uninspired about doing it. Not writer's block, the ideas are there, I know what I want to write, I just didn't feel like doing it. Probably because what I am writing at the moment is a positive happy story and I felt a bit miserable this week and just wanted to absorb myself in self pity for a bit. Better effort will be had this week.
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